Bob passed peacefully at home on Friday, June 14, 2024, surrounded by the love of his family.
Missing and remembering him are his beloved wife Anne, his cherished children Tricia & Leroy, Steven & Melinda, Teresa & D’Arcy, and David & Joanne, and his treasured grandchildren Max & Amy, Callum, Parker & Felicity, Evelyn, Violet & Georgia, and Hayley & Mackenzie, and his dearly loved sister Susan (Steve) McIlwaine. Bob will also be remembered fondly by his nieces, nephews, and close friends.
Dad was born and raised in Toronto, back when farmer’s fields still existed within city limits. He met Mom when they were both children living on Hycrest Road, and after 18 years of enduring his merciless teasing, she still agreed to marry him! They began their life together in Mississauga, but after a few years Dad somehow convinced Mom to leave the city and start building their forever home in the country on a farm property he had purchased years before. Together they built a lovely red brick house and filled it with the love, laughter and bickering of four children. Despite his city upbringing, Dad loved the farm life and learned about crop rotation, tillage, drainage and more – the only thing he never mastered was keeping his cows in the pasture, so Mom finally put her foot down and the cows went!
As we grew up, Dad was at every Christmas concert, First Communion, recital, graduation and sporting event. He grumped about almost all of them, calling them his ‘holy days of obligation’. But we always knew he would be there, always knew how proud he was. When his grandchildren were born and the same events started again, the grumping was even louder but the pride was even brighter. He might have said ‘your Mother said I had to come’, but he loved watching his grandkids at hockey games, Christmas concerts or birthday parties.
Dad had a razor-sharp mind and a dry sense of humour. As we sat around the dinner table each night, we’d be quizzed on the spelling of homonyms or asked rapid-fire math questions, and while we were coming up with an answer Dad would stealthily steal food off our plates (a buttered bun or a bite of dessert were his favourite) and then cackle gleefully when we realized something was missing. He also loved catching a gullible person and telling them a wild untruth with a totally straight face – Mom was his favourite target for this, and she never lived down believing a sign indicated an airplane might make an emergency landing on a stretch of the 401.
In his later years, Dad enjoyed a slower life of tea and naps on the deck (the man could nod off at the drop of a hat!), watching the stock market and golf tournaments, and visits from the grandkids – he pretended the visits were a real hardship, but the tickle attacks and sharing of his black licorice treats with the grandkids told a different story. His preferred greeting for phone calls from his adult children was a surly ‘What do you want?’, but we always knew he was secretly happy to talk and would always, always be there when we needed him. Whether it was a babysitting request, a ride to and from, or we’d run out of gas, Dad would be there (because ‘your Mother said I had to come’).
More than anything, Dad had a fierce and devoted love for Mom. Together, the two of them built a beautiful life (full of Dad’s merciless teasing) – first as newlyweds, then as parents, and then as empty-nesters who were innately homebodies but also had a yen to travel. They visited a number of far-off places, enjoying the sights of churches, monuments and engineering marvels, but coming home was always a relief – because ‘Annie cooks better meals than anyone’ and home is where the heart is…and Dad’s heart was, and always will be, with his family and the farm.
Special thanks to Dr. Oh and Dr. Brown, and to the caregivers from Right at Home and the Bayshore home care and palliative teams for their compassionate care that allowed Dad to spend his final days at home.
Cremation has taken place with arrangements entrusted to the WALL-CUSTANCE FUNERAL HOME & CHAPEL 519-822-0051 / www.wallcustance.com. A Celebration of Life for family and friends will be held at the farm at a later date.
In lieu of flowers, donations in Bob’s memory to the FarmSafe Foundation (https://casa-acsa.ca/en/canadian-agricultural-safety-association/) would be appreciated.
Rest in peace Dad. Your chair at the table may now sit empty, but as we gather for family dinners without you, we’ll remember you always – and ‘pass’ the buns in your honour!
